What is the definition of Estates Healing Cream?

"Estates Healing Cream: Think of this as a spa day for your real estate portfolio. It's like a high-end, yet slightly questionable, self-care retreat that promises to restore the vibrancy of your once-grand ancestral estates to their former glory. It's essentially a concoction of questionable ingredients and the desperation of a real estate agent who's tried too many moves and now needs to mend what's left of their legacy."

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Edgy example sentence: "To revive the once-majestic estate that's been sulking in the attic for decades, the estate owners decided to treat their beloved ancestral home with 'Estates Healing Cream' – a dubious concoction that's as likely to attract a swarm of wasps than restore the property's value."